The Blue Beast

When I was a kid my folks had a pretty big back yard that dad kept cut so we could play back there.  In those days he had a big self propelled lawn mower.  I remember it was blue.  It was kind of a reel mower with an engine mounted on top.  It must have been a bear to get started because he wouldn’t shut it off until he was completely done cutting the grass. He would take it out of gear and go get a Pepsi.  He changed the bag while it ran and he even fueled it while running (while smoking a cigarette).  How he lived to be 84, I don’t know.   The mower just sat there shaking violently in neutral while he walked away for a few minutes at a time. 

One day Mom got his attention from the driveway, seems my grandfather was on the phone.  So dad just put it in neutral and went into the house to take the call.  Well my best friend David and I were sharing the backyard with the noisy beast, just minding our own business when suddenly the thing just took off.  I guess it shook itself into gear.  I swear it had a mind of its own.  It rolled all around the back yard and we were sure it was after us (like in a Steven King movie).  This was before mowers had a lot of safety equipment, so the big spinning blades were very exposed right in the front of it (like on a snow blower).  Had it caught one of us (it would have been David, he was a little heavy and not very maneuverable) it could have killed us, well him.  We ran around screaming as it chased us around for what seemed like an hour.  It only had two big wheels in front and a small roller in the back so it could turn on a dime.  It was racing around the yard bouncing off tree trunks like in a pinball machine.   Mom must have heard all the commotion and pretty soon dad was chasing the mower around the yard as it continued to try and eat us. 

As you probably suspect, we all survived.  But I think the blue beast’s days were numbered.  I think dad got his first LawnBoy shortly after that.  Remind me to tell you about his Gucci grass catcher bag.